Merry Christmas (or for the PC minded: Happy Holidays)

Yesterday we made a trip to a big store where they sell stuff in bulk and many other things at better prices. It was the first time I stepped in that store. It was not a life changing experience.

But I saw something that I've been thinking about on and off.

We met a couple from church there. It was nice to see them. We met them again at the check out line. The man had just purchased his own Christmas gift. Not a bad gift at all. Something I would like, too. It is one of those massaging things you put over an easy chair.
So far so good, nothing particularly weird or exceptional about this.

Then, something on the box caught my eye.
It said:

You will feel human again.

I don't get it. You will feel human again???
What is that supposed to mean??
When did I ever quit feeling human?? And what - if not human - am I supposed to feel?? And how is a massage supposed to change that??

And what if they're right?
Let's do a collection!
I can think of a bunch of people in need of some "rehumanizing" and now I have the perfect gift for them!