Una mela in un mondo di pere (an apple in a world of pears)

I sometimes feel like that little dog in the bun. Out of place. If you were to explain her situation it may even sound reasonable. A (hot) dog in a bun with ketchup; what's the problem?
But the reality is that something is off, way off. And when that' s how you feel you cannot even explain it. You just feel odd, an apple in a world full of pears. Once in a while you find another apple on your path and you're able to share some of this journey. However it's a rare occurence, here, for me. How do you overcome that awkwardness? Should it be a goal at all to overcome it?
There is a war inside me, between the (very human) desire to fit and the desire to be my (awkward) self. At this moment the latter is winning. Thank God. There is sort of a repulsion in me towards conforming.. Sometimes (as I said) the desire to do so is present in me, but it is never a pleasant feeling. I tend to fight it with every fiber in me. And when I give in (knowingly or unknowingly) what I am left with is a sense of defeat, emptiness and plain misery. Like someone cut off a part of my body (and sometimes I think that sort of physical loss would be more bearable)
C'est la vie, I guess.

Right now Myself (my Phaedrus) is here, very alive. Imperfect, sinful, messed up and real.
No faking or performing.

And it feels liberating.